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Thread: Perihal Filem

  1. #1
    ayam's Avatar
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    Perihal Filem

    PERIHAL FILEM-FILEM
    Berikut adalah perbezaan antara filem/drama MELAYU, CINA dan INDIA .

    Drama/Filem Melayu


    1. 80% jalan cerita berkisar tentang:

    a. Cinta.

    b. Cinta 3 segi.

    c. Cinta 4 segi.

    d. Anak-anak rebut harta pusaka.

    e. Kalau keluarga kaya, anak2 rebut sapa nak gantikan Tan Sri (ayah) jadi Pengerusi, CEO atau Presiden syarikat.

    2. Walau pun cerita pasal awek kilang, rumah awek kilang ni mesti complete furnished. Ada TV 29", Home Teatre, peti sejuk besar, set sofa mewah. (Director tak buat home work ker? Pegi la tengok umah awek kilang kat Sungei Way tu).

    3. Cerita polis lak, dialah pegawai penyiasat, dialah jadi forensic, dialah jadi pathologist, dialah yang gi ambush. Semuanya DIA yang buat. Polis lak dialog pakai bahasa buku. "Saya rasa kita patut siasat dengan lebih terperinci tuan". " Betul cadangan awak itu. Kita bertindak sekarang".

    4. Kalau cerita pasal Construction, bawak satu pelan gulung, pakai topi KUNING, tunjuk-tunjuk kat bangunan tengah buat, discuss dengan 'kepala' Indon komplen kenapa projek lambat siap kat Indon tadi. (Topi kuning utk pekerja buruh la bang ).

    5. Adegan doktor kat Wad check pesakit. Ambik fail hujung katil,selak-selak. Dialog wajib : "Kesihatan awak bertambah baik. Banyakkan berehat dan jangan lupa makan ubat ". ( Woi bang, tengokla cerita ER tu, Dr ada medical terms dia ).

    6. Adegan kat umah. Ayah mesti tengah baca paper, Mak mesti tengah menjahit atau lipat baju. Orang gaji tengah basuh pinggan. Orang gaji mesti nama dia Mak Nab atau Mak Jah.

    7. Nak panjangkan rakaman filem mesti ada adegan kereta sampai kat umah, bukak pintu kereta, bukak pintu pagar, masuk balik kereta, drive masuk car porch, keluar, tutup pintu pagar.

    8. Adegan sembahyang mesti dah salam akhir or adegan mengaji Quran mesti dah sampai part sadakallah hulazim. ( Cover line kot ).

    9. Gangster atau kuncu orang jahat mesti pakai baju takder lengan, pakai rantai dan pakai bracelet.

    10. Nak bagi sedih gila, mesti buat adegan dah tahu nak mati pasal kena barah otak.


    Drama/Filem Cina.

    1. Cerita Kungfu, hero terror boleh terbang. Tapi sambung pengembaraan mesti jalan kaki. Apsal tak terbang jek. Kan cepat sampai.

    2. Hero mesti miskin gila. Tapi mesti ada sekeping or 2 keping duit siling kat celah lengan besar jubah dia.

    3. Kalau cerita moden hero boleh lawan dan tewaskan 30 orang penjahat serentak.

    4. Biasalah, kalau kena tembak mesti kat bahu or kat kaki. Tak mati.

    5. Heroin mesti jadi bini or girlfriend boss penjahat dan jatuh cinta kat hero.

    6. Hero mesti menembak pakai 2 pistol, kiri dan kanan. Macam Chow Yuen Fatt dalam filem 'A Better Tomorrow'. Tapi best ooo.....

    7. Pistol hero mesti peluru tak habis2. Tak payah reload.


    8. Cerita hantu, hantu dia biasanya pakai bedak muka tebal2 dan hitamkan keliling mata. Kat bibir ada darah meleleh. ( Tak seram pun ).

    9. Kalau cerita lucu plak, mesti ada adegan air liur meleleh keluar mulut macam air paip.


    10. Cerita Blue dia pun tak best. Awek mengerang jek lebih.

    Drama/Filem India/Hindustan.

    1. Biasalah, kebanyakan cerita bermula dengan 2 beradik terpisah. Sorang di bela oleh orang jahat dan sorang lagi dibela oleh orang baik. Dah besar, abang jadi Inspektor Sahab dan adik jadi gangster. Nak abih cerita mesti adik kena tembak ngan abang dan waktu nazak baru si bang tahu yang dia tembak tadi adalah adiknya sendiri melalui tanda parut.

    2. Orang jahat digambarkan tersangat jahat sampai lembu pun takut.

    3. Selalunya depa suka ciplak bulat2 filem barat macam Pretty Woman, Face Off dan Heat.


    4. Paling pendek pun jangkamasa tayangan adalah 3 jam.


    5. Orang jahat dan hero payah nak mati walaupun kepala dah kena ktuk dengan tukul besi.


    6. Hero tak kena tembak walaupun ditembak dari jarak satu kaki.

    7. Adegan joget sambil menyanyi akan melibatkan penari iringan seramai satu kampong dan bertukar 7 atau 8 pasang pakaian untuk setiap lokasi hanya untuk satu lagu.

    8. Adegan keretapi tak leh tertinggal. Joget reramai sampai atas bumbung keretapi.


    9. Kalau cerita moden, dialog mesti bercampur bahasa omputeh dan Hindi. Contoh ' I'm sorry. I didn't know that na pere tomhe cha....bla....bla....bla...'.

    10. Biasanya plot dan jalan cerita da boleh baca apa penyudahnya. Tu yang pelik ramai plak yang tunggu sampai abih.


    Sekian laporan ikhlas untuk pedoman tuan2 director filem.

    Yang benar,
    Ah Yau Jengkol Spielberg.
    ( Sepupu tiri sebelah nenek sedara Steven Spielberg
    )


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  3. #2
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    huhuhuhuhhuu......yg omputih nyer ko xada ker bro.....



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    tu ar..
    sume filem ak tgk lbh kurang jje..ahakx



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    abis ayam kaji pasal filem... ko takde keje lain ke?



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    bgus... leh jadi pengkritik filem nie.....
    Suatu Kenangan™
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    hmm...nak wat cemana ...cari makan....



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    10. Nak bagi sedih gila, mesti buat adegan dah tahu nak mati pasal kena barah otak.

    ni yg wt mokcik2 kt umah tgk tv smpai nangis2 ni





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    Quote Originally Posted by ayam View Post



    10. Cerita Blue dia pun tak best. Awek mengerang jek lebih.


    Sekian laporan ikhlas untuk pedoman tuan2 director filem.

    Yang benar,
    Ah Yau Jengkol Spielberg.
    ( Sepupu tiri sebelah nenek sedara Steven Spielberg
    )
    AH Yau ni selalu tgk cerita blue sbb tu bleh tau camner awek mengerang..


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