CAR


Beng and Seng excited and locked the car in a hurry, forgetting to remove
the key which was in the ignition. Realizing the mistake, Beng asked, 'Why
don't we get a coat hanger to open it.'
No, that won't work' answered Seng. 'People will think we're trying to break
in.'

Then Beng suggested, 'What if we use a pocket knife to cut around the
rubber, then stick a finger in and pull up the lock?'

No,' said Seng. 'People will think we're too dumb not to use a coat hanger.'

The kan cheong Beng shouted, 'we'd better think of something fast.
It's starting to rain and the sunroof is open!'

************************************************** ****
PIZZA

Ah Beng ordered a pizza and the waitress asked if she should cut it in six
or twelve pieces.
Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.

************************************************** ****
DEAD BIRD

"Oh, look at the dead bird."

Ah Beng looked skyward and said "Where, Where got?"

************************************************** ****
NOT MY BROTHER!

A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma.

Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer
pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are
fine. Your brother came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother, he's an idiot!"

Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"

"Denise," the doctor says.

The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name!

Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the
doctor, "What's the boy's name?"

The doctor replies, DeNephew.

************************************************** *
ITALIAN


To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chic Italian
restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and ordered.


"We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said.

"Sorry, sir," said the waiter. "That's the owner."