The Best Spread 728x90ms

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  1. #1
    antagenaiz's Avatar
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    Talking Lawak Malam Petama

    Salah Pengertian di Malam Pertama
    Si Rahmat baru saja kawin dengan Siti . Tapi pada malam pertama mereka

    tidak terus berhubungan intim, karena mereka letih tolong kemas
    dapur/kemah
    dll. Pada malam harinya mereka makan burger MacDonald bersama di dalam
    bilik. Emak Rahmat pasang telinga dari balik pintu dan mendengar
    suara...
    Siti : "Bang, dah dipicit picit tak keluar-keluar. " (Sambil memicit sos
    MacDonald.)
    Rahmat : "Memanglah dah lubangnya kecik!"
    Siti : "Dahtu nak buat macam mana? Saya potong jelah hujungnya!"
    Emak Rahmat terus panik, terus buka pintu bilik dan berteriak,
    "Jangan!!!
    Jangan gunting anu anak aku!".
    Rahmat & Siti : **#@##^%&??!!!


    p/s : klu dh baca,sory ye kawan2


  2. pamm 468x60-en

  3. #2
    antagenaiz's Avatar
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    Drama Malam Pertama
    Sepasang pengantin, Ali dan Siti , akan melalui malam pertamanya. Setelah
    acara buka hadiah selesai, sepasang pengantin ini masuk bilik. Di bilik
    ada lagi hadiah dari kawan kawan mereka. Satu persatu kotak hadiah di
    buka,
    mendadak Siti tertawa happy. Apa pasal? Rupanya ada sepasang kasut untuk
    dia... dia nak cuba pakai, ternyata kasut tu sempit. dia terus memaksa,
    namun sia-sia. Ali yang melihat terus bertanya:
    Ali : "Kenapa, terlalu sempit?"
    Siti : "Iya bang, sakit ni..."
    Ali : "Saya masukkan perlahan-lahan ya?"
    Siti : "Baik bang, tapi jangan kuat kuat ya?"
    Suaminya membantu memakaikan kasut sempit itu di kaki isterinya dengan
    sedikit memaksa.
    Siti : "Bang, sakit bang... anunya terlalu sempit..."
    Ali : "Tahan sikit, saya cuba lagi ya?"
    Tanpa mereka sedari, orang tua mempelai perempuan, Mak Minah, pasang
    telinga di balik pintu kamar pengantin... rupanya ibu mempelai perempuan
    dah fikir lain... dia tidak tahan mendengar anak perempuanya yang
    mengalami
    kesulitan malam pertama, jadi sebagai ibu terpaksalah dia bagi sokongan
    dari balik pintu.
    Mak Minah: "Kenapa nak, susah masuknya?"
    Siti : "Iya maaak..."
    Ali : "Kecik sangat barangnya... "
    Mak Minah : "Coba sapu dengan air liur..."
    Ali : "Ok saya coba mak."
    Sitii : "Cepatlah bang, sapu dengan air liur..."
    Dengan tergesa-gesa pengantin lelaki menyapu seluruh permukaan kaki
    isterinya dengan air liur.
    Ali: " Cuba masuk lagi ya sayang???"
    Siti : "Iya bang..."
    Setelah dimasukkan kaki yang disapu liur tadi ternyata dengan mudah
    masuk.
    Ali : "Nah... masuk pun???"
    Sitii : "Iya... tapi..."
    Ali: "Kenapa, masih sakit ke?"
    Siti : "Iya, tapi taklah sakit macam tadi."
    Mak Minah: " Kan dah boleh masuk kan ? Sekarang tinggal kena goyang je."
    Sambil tersenyum dan dalam hatinya berkata budak budak sekarang benda
    benda
    macam tu pun tak tahu ?



  4. #3
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    Malam Pertama Ibarat Penjahat dan Penjara
    Sepasang pengantin baru sedang bersiap menikmati malam pertama mereka.
    Pengantin perempuan berkata, "Bang, saya masih anak dara dan tidak tahu
    apa-apa tentang seks. Boleh abang menerangkannya lebih dulu sebelum kita
    melakukannya? "
    "Seks itu senang je., kita ni macam penjara, yang engkau punya tu selnya
    dan yang abang punya penjahatnya. Di penjara, penjahat harus dimasukkan
    ke
    dalam sel," terang pengantin lelaki. Lalu mereka pun mulai bercumbu
    mengarungi lautan asmara .
    Ketika sudah selesai dan si pengantin lelaki sedang berbaring akan
    memejamkan mata, si pengantin perempuan berkata, "Bang, penjahatnya
    terlepas."
    Pengantin lelaki pun mulai lagi memasukkan 'penjahatnya' . Rupanya si
    pengantin perempuan syok sangat dengan hubungan asmara yang baru pertama
    ini ia rasakan. Setiap kali selesai, ia selalu mengatakan bahwa
    penjahatnya
    lepas atau melarikan diri, keluar dari selnya.
    Setelah banyak kali macam tu, si pengantin lelaki dengan nafas
    termengah-mengah berkata, "Yang, penjahat yang ini bukannya kena hukuman
    penjara seumur hidup."



  5. #4
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    huhuhuhuhu....mn ler ko dapat bahan nie...



  6. #5
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    kah kah kah kah ...citer yangketiga tuh lawak giler ...



  7. #6
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    mane lagi cite? mane lagi? aku nak lagi...



  8. #7
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    wakakakaka....xleh blah..lawaks gile citer no 3 tu..wakakakka



  9. #8
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  10. #9
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    cerita no 3 tu serius lawak giler..kesian doh suami die..



  11. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by mr.buragas View Post
    cerita no 3 tu serius lawak giler..kesian doh suami die..

    sahih laki dia nyesal ajar bini dia pasal pnjahat n penjara tu ahaks


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